Chapter Fifty-Two: The Hours of Coffee

After a minor quarrel, Huasheng and the Young Lord of Supreme Harmony sat in the café waiting for closing time.

Huasheng glanced at the people around them; nearly everyone in the café was absorbed in their phones.

“Don’t you think we should have a phone?” Huasheng asked.

“You’re right. The communication system of Saint Peaceful doesn’t get a signal here. We really ought to have one—it would make keeping in touch much easier.”

“Why don’t you conjure up a phone for us?”

“You always want something: when there’s trouble, you turn to Zhong Wuyan; when all’s well, you prefer Xia Yingchun.” The Young Lord of Supreme Harmony still seemed somewhat unsettled by their earlier conversation about the privileged classes. “I’ve never handled a mortal phone myself, so I can’t conjure one.”

“I know some magic too. Teach me the incantation—I’ll do it!”

“Oh?” The Young Lord regarded Huasheng. “Alright. I’ll teach you a few tricks. But you’ll need to find a phone first; otherwise, you won’t know which model to conjure.”

“If we had a phone to begin with, why would we need to conjure one?”

“We could borrow one from the next table,” the Young Lord said, glancing behind Huasheng.

Huasheng turned and saw, not far away near the window, a stylishly dressed young woman. She wore vivid red lipstick and giggled at her phone, occasionally typing messages—clearly chatting about something amusing with her friends.

“She’s quite pretty!” Huasheng remarked.

“Indeed!” The Young Lord glanced at her and replied, “I mean her phone.”

“Do you think I was talking about the phone?”

“I thought you meant her earrings,” the Young Lord said, deliberately sidestepping.

Huasheng shrugged. “If I want to borrow her phone, how should I approach her?”

“Just touch the phone; no need for greetings—unless you want to get to know her.”

“If I don’t say anything and just grab her phone, isn’t that the same as grabbing her hand?”

“Touching her hand makes you a rogue; touching her phone makes you a creep,” the Young Lord said. “But you could pretend to accidentally bump into it—the technique is crucial.”

The Young Lord picked up a paper cup, slid off the insulating sleeve, pinched it between his left thumb and forefinger, recited an incantation, and slapped it with his right hand. With a sharp sound, the sleeve fell onto the table, now doubled.

“That’s duplication magic!” Huasheng realized suddenly.

“The Way gives birth to One; One gives birth to Two. By tweaking the ‘Scatter Beans to Create Soldiers’ spell, you get instant duplication.” The Young Lord winked. “I call it the Shopping Freebie Technique.”

“What kind of name is that?”

“Want to learn?”

“Absolutely!”

The Young Lord taught Huasheng the incantation. Huasheng silently recited it, slapped the sleeve, and watched it split into two midair. “I’ve got it! Watch me conjure our phones!”

“Just remember: one slap is enough. Don’t overdo it.”

“I understand!”

Huasheng glanced at the trendy young woman; she happened to be holding her coffee cup, her phone resting on the table’s edge. Huasheng calculated—if he approached, recited the spell, and touched the phone with his left hand, the phone would slide off the table. In midair, it would split in two, and with both hands he could catch them. He’d return the original phone and keep the duplicate. Once he had one phone, making two would be easy.

Eager, Huasheng stood up. The young woman was gazing out the window at the traffic, unaware of his approach.

Huasheng feigned a stroll toward the magazine rack. The phone was a third off the table—perfect for his plan. He intended to casually place his hand on the edge, as if absentmindedly, then catch the phone swiftly, saying, “Excuse me, miss. Your new phone nearly fell.”

Yes! He would use a deep, magnetic voice. Despite his thorough preparations, he still felt nervous.

He recited the incantation taught by the Young Lord. As he reached the table, he suddenly heard the young woman mutter to herself, gazing outside, “My girlish heart—damn, I really want that handbag…”

Her tone caused Huasheng’s steps to falter. He stumbled, his left hand landing precisely on the exposed part of the phone. The phone shot into the air, and Huasheng, startled, tried to catch it with both hands. The phone bounced between his palms.

Then the impossible happened: because he had recited the spell, each time his hands touched the phone, it split into two. Phones began to rain down from his hands—identical in color and model—clattering onto the floor. Amid gasps from the crowd, Huasheng finally managed to grasp the original phone.

A thunderous applause erupted in the café. The young woman stared a moment, then joined in enthusiastically.

“Is he a magician?”

“Is this a magic flash mob?”

“Amazing—how did he do that? Where were all those phones hidden?”

“Must be in his clothes—inner pockets!”

“Damn, such a spectacle! If only I’d recorded it!”

All eyes were on Huasheng, as if he were a grand magician.

Huasheng could only bow stiffly, saying, “Thank you, everyone! Thank you! I’m a magician, and today I’m performing a magic flash mob for you. Hope you enjoyed it—hahaha!” He stooped to gather the phones, masking his embarrassment with laughter.

Finally, the young woman pulled Huasheng—arms full of phones—into a selfie before letting him go.

The Young Lord of Supreme Harmony watched the “magician” return with a stack of phones and remarked, “With so many new phones in stock, have you considered becoming a secondary dealer?”

Time spent in a café passes quickly, especially when you have several phones. At this moment, Huasheng had a dozen phones arrayed before him.

“With a phone, if two nations go to war, and an army’s about to reach an ambush point, just check the nearby devices—see tens of thousands of men nearby, and you’d never fall for an ambush,” Huasheng joked.

“That’s a cold one,” the Young Lord said, looking at the phones. “Though, it reminds me we should turn off GPS to avoid being tracked by Saint Peaceful.”

Huasheng was about to adjust the privacy settings.

“Settings won’t help. Even if you remove the battery, you can still be tracked. You need higher authority.” The Young Lord took Huasheng’s phone and traced a charm on its back. Instantly, silver runes appeared.

He then drew a charm on his own phone. Examining it, he asked, “By the way, do we need to top up credit for these phones?”

“Right, I almost forgot. I’ll use magic—it worked when I bought coffee earlier. Let me top yours up. How much do you need?”

“Just fill it up.”

Huasheng paused. “Do you think it’s a battery? You can’t really ‘fill up’ phone credit.”

“If it’s full, you can use it without worry.”

“You have a point, but it’s impossible to completely fill up phone credit!” Huasheng settled for a modest top-up to ensure normal use.

“Add a bit more—don’t want it to cut off in the middle of something.”

“So fussy. Got it!”

After drawing charms and topping up credit, the Young Lord used his phone to search for news, hoping to find information about the Black Tortoise Spirit Serpent.

Suddenly, he looked up and said to Huasheng, “I found a news report about a cruise ship called the Bedelan that vanished and sank a year ago. The report says all passengers and crew were found unconscious on the nearest shore, as if saved by some unnatural force. Only a few tourists and staff were missing. Could that have been your ship?”

“Really?” Huasheng, though his memory was blank, had flashes of the cruise scene in his mind.

He took the phone from the Young Lord and read the report, which was only a few hundred words. Perhaps because the truth was unclear, the media refrained from speculation, relaying only the account of a witness describing a strange experience. The mention of unnatural forces came from a child interviewed. The report said more details were being investigated by the cruise company and government experts.

Huasheng had no clue and could only shake his head. The matter would have to wait until Yu Wei was rescued and they could discuss it further.

Afterward, the two observed the central large bronze cauldron, planning the details of the upcoming alchemical process. Unbeknownst to them, it was nearly ten o’clock and closing time. A barista in a gray canvas apron approached and said, “Sorry, gentlemen, we’re closing soon.”

After the barista left, Huasheng said to the Young Lord, “Looks like it’s time to clear out. Let’s find somewhere to hide and come out after everyone leaves.”

The Young Lord checked the time. “You’ve learned the Transformation spell at the Xuanming level, haven’t you?”

“Six months at the Academy of the Way weren’t wasted!” Huasheng felt he was no longer an ordinary mortal and was a bit proud.

The Young Lord led Huasheng to a hidden corner. “In a café, do you know what you should transform into to avoid attention?”

“Of course!”

“Good!” The Young Lord surveyed the café—only a few baristas cleaning up, and the two of them remained. He pushed Huasheng back and quietly recited:

“By urgent decree, transform!”

In an instant, both shrank. The Young Lord became an inconspicuous coffee bean, blending into a square basket full of beans on the table, vanishing from sight. Huasheng transformed into a travel thermos coffee cup on the shelf.

Though they had taken on different forms, their presence in the café was unremarkable.

Just then, the café door opened, and a boy entered with his mother.

“Sorry, we’re closed!” a barista in a green apron called out.

“Mom, mom! Look—the limited edition coffee thermos I told you about is still here!” The boy ran to the shelf and pointed at “Huasheng’s coffee cup,” then grabbed it and ran to the counter.

“Can we still check out?” the mother asked.

“Yes, but just one more minute and we’ll close the register,” the barista said with a smile. “You’re right on time!”

Huasheng felt a sinking sensation.

The barista took the “Huasheng coffee cup,” scanned its label, and said, “…This limited edition cup is pretty heavy. One hundred and eighty-eight.”

The mother paid, and the barista put Huasheng’s cup in a bag for the boy. The boy took out the cup, shook it by his ear, and said, “Mom, it makes a sloshing sound when I shake it.”

“Maybe it’s full from drinking coffee!” his mother teased him.

Then the pair left the café, with the boy skipping ahead, shaking the thermos by his ear and listening to the sloshing inside.

Huasheng inwardly groaned. This little rascal—my stomach’s full of coffee, and if he keeps shaking me, I’m going to spill!